I was bullied in school and the subject of false rumors. Even those closest to me had proven themselves judgmental, unaccepting and unloving. This left me feeling alone, anxious and unconfident with zero self esteem. I didn’t feel like anyone cared or loved me, so I stayed quiet and to myself. I didn’t give anyone the chance to know or love me because I didn’t want to give them the chance to make fun of or be mean to me.
Social media became my escape from reality. I was a Myspace kid. I spent most of my time blogging, playing with HTML and taking awesome “scene kid” pictures. This hobby developed a lot of skills that I’m super thankful for now, being in the profession I’m in, haha.
There wasn’t a whole lot of people utilizing social media back then. It was very different than it is today and wasn’t particularly what the “cool kids” did. It was a place where us not-so-cool kids could make ourselves into something better than what we were. It was a place we where could be cool and confident too.
After Myspace was Facebook. Which was a lot different when it first came out than it is today and not near as awesome as Myspace was as it restricted the flow of creativity and expressionism. So I joined it and then never did anything with it.
I started driving, found a boyfriend, a social life and got away from my computer for a while. Like a few years, a while. When I got back to things like that, (when smartphones came about, ok, years after smart phones came about because I didn’t have one for a long time haha) I was a very different person. Life had taken a tole on me. People had taken a tole on me.
No one’s gonna approve of everything you do. someone’s always going to disapprove. Decide your approval is the only one you need. #selflove
— Savannah Shea Blake (@Vannasana) December 10, 2016
Social media was no longer the safe haven that it had once been for me. Where as before I was comfortable being myself because most people on there were either my friends or strangers, now everyone was there. This meant the people who tormented me in real life. I was afraid of social media. Or, the people on the other side of it. I didn’t post anything for fear of criticism. I definitely didn’t post any pictures of myself and I refused to join anything other than Facebook because I didn’t want to “follow the crowd”.
I was afraid of what people may think. What they may say to each other or to me. I didn’t want to make anyone upset with my opinions. I didn’t have the self esteem or confidence to share anything in my life. I shied away from the attention that social media may draw to me. Attention was not at all what I wanted. I didn’t want anyone to notice me or my flaws.Find the confidence you need to share your story Click To Tweet
When I got pregnant with my first son I told myself I wouldn’t be one of those people who continuously updated you on their pregnancy and what not. So I didn’t. When I lost him I was embarrassed of myself and hid even more. When I got pregnant again I didn’t even tell anyone until we found out it was another boy. That was the only update until he was born and then I didn’t post much of him for a while, either.
I tell you this because I regret it. I regret not posting updates of my pregnancies and of the first few months of my son’s life. It wasn’t preference that kept me from doing this. It was fear, embarrassment and lack of self confidence.
Social media, particularly Facebook, is a great way to document and archive your life. If you’re just not into sharing the details of your life, then don’t. If you avoid it from fear or lack of confidence, find a way to conquer those problems.
Finding your Voice
I’ve learned that confidence is all about loving and owning who you are. If you don’t love who you are, change the things you dislike. The power is yours. Follow your interests and passions shamelessly. They lead you to learn more about yourself and your purpose in this world. Which is something everyone wishes for. We all long to not feel lost, to know our place and where we belong.
Social media is a great place to learn things in the areas that intrigue you. The internet has opened us up to unlimited amounts of information! You should never hide what sets your soul on fire and makes you happy. You should share it with the world. Share it so people can learn new things. Share it so people can be inspired and find where they belong! Share it so that we can learn about you, see your greatness and know your brilliance! I promise you are not the only one in the world that likes the things you like. Share your interests so that you can find your tribe and both you and them can stop feeling alone.
If others don’t like who you are or what you’re sharing, that’s their problem. Not yours. The truth is that some people are going to judge you for what you do AND for what you don’t do. These people are small and their judging tells you that they have problems within themselves. People who are happy and at peace with themselves don’t judge others. You can’t make everyone happy, so don’t try. Focus on making you happy. Your happiness is both the only one that matters and the only one you have control over.
Others though, are going to love you for what you share. You’re going to be met with love and friendship. You just have to ignore the naysayers. Meet them with love, forgiveness and wish them the best, for they have inner struggles as well that need healing. You don’t want the approval of negative people anyway, by nature they are disapproving. The only person’s approval you should ever seek is your own.You don’t want the approval of negative people, by nature they are disapproving. Click To Tweet
I only have a couple of pictures from when I was pregnant and I wish I had more. I also wish I had updated on things that were happening. Both so that I could share them with my son when he’s older, and so that I could have had help when I was going through the pain of loss. Had I shared my pain and troubles, I wouldn’t have felt so alone. Which would have made healing easier and smoother.
I never dreamed I would be where I am in social media today. On every platform, shamelessly sharing who I am with the world. The world needs our unique brilliance. You have ideas and experiences that need to be shared with the world. You never know what bit of information you share may inspire someone to do or create something beautiful and amazing. To hide away yourself and your thoughts is a dis-justice to everyone. Yourself included. We can learn through you and the experiences you have. We can grow ourselves and make the world a better place if we are brave enough to be seen and speak with others about these thoughts, ideas and experiences.
Social media is a wonderful development that gives us all the power to make a difference in the world. It’s given us a voice where we previously had none. We’ve never been more connected than we are now. We’ve never had as much power as we do now. Social media gives us the ability to utilize the greatest resources on the planet. Each other and the knowledge each of us holds. Individually we can do a lot but together we can move mountains.
If we can find our self love and confidence to collaborate with other amazing individuals, the possibilities are endless. By learning to put aside our insecurities and sharing who we are, we can create great things. Together, we can create anything we can dream.
Best Vibes Always,